February 11, 2014
I could have gone my whole life ignoring the commercials about insulin, diabetic nerve pain, and all of the other commercials that spend more time laying out the side effects than the actual product. I could have spent my entire life knowing absolutely nothing about diabetes. I never once paid attention to any diabetes commercials. Now that I have been diagnosed anytime I hear the word diabetes, insulin, nerve pain, anything of that sort, my ears perk right up and I tune out everything else. It's important now, but shouldn't it have always been important? Shouldn't it have meant something to me that there were people in the world struggling like that? I guess it is easy to ignore the struggles in life, unless they're your own. It seems to be that whenever an individual struggles they have the toughest life of anyone, and they're going to let every one know. I'm definitely guilty of doing this. Everyone is important, everyone's struggles matter, that should never change.
That's one thing I have enjoyed about having diabetes, is that I sympathize a little more with a lot more people. I know that life is hard and we are all just trying to get by. It really is true that you should never judge someone for how they live, because you don't know how much they are struggling. I honestly hope that I am the only one who has had to come to the realization that I am not the only one in the world struggling. My problems are not the only problems that matter. I know that there are people out there who could also have this wake-up call, I just hope that it happens soon. I think that the world would be a much better place if we all were a little more understanding and a lot less judgmental.
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Thursday, February 27, 2014
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
What A Whirlwind!
September 17, 2013
Wow, what a week already! There has been so much that I've come to realize and appreciate. First off, I want you all to know how amazing the people in my life are. They are so supportive in everything that I do and have faith I can do it even when I'm doubting myself. They inspire me and encourage me to be the best that I can be and they are so willing to stand by me and cheer me on. I don't know where I'd be without them. I love that I have all of this support and I don't take that for granted one bit. I truly am so blessed.
I am also so excited for the opportunity to be in the Miss Utah 2014 pageant. It's propelling me forward and making me want to be a better person. It's making my wheels turn about all of the charities, fundraisers, and amazing opportunities to help but never knew how. I'm so excited to see where this pageant goes but I know even if I don't become Miss Utah 2014 I am going to throw myself into charity work. It's my passion and I just want to help.
Now for my gym post.. I was so excited to walk into the gym today. I'm putting in a lot of work to become the most fit I can be. I'm eating right and putting my time in at the gym. I am loving working out and having my body sore. I love knowing that all of this hard work is going to pay off. In a little over a month I'm going to be on stage in a swimsuit and all this time at the gym and eating right will give me the confidence to stand there and be judged. It's helping my diabetes immensely. I have kept a steady blood sugar and eating right has been so helpful. I can honestly say I'm rocking my diabetes. It's a part of me now. It's who I am and it's helped define me as a person believe it or not. It's qho I am but I'm definitely owning it. I can't even express my excitement for my physical changes. The best I can do is tell you I honestly can't stop smiling and I want to jump up and down just thinking about it!
Last but not least, I'm loving this new person that I am. I've let go of the people who weren't pushing me forward. The ones who had little to no words of encouragement. I quit my job and I'm starting a new one in a week that I am more than thrilled about. I have so much more confidence in the person I am. Looking back at who I was and who I am now there is a remarkable change. I still have a lot to work on for myself but I overall am proud of who I am and how far I've come.
Confidence, strength and gratitude is something I'll be striving for everyday of my life. I'll never stop trying to improve myself. I'm more than excited for the changes! :)
Wow, what a week already! There has been so much that I've come to realize and appreciate. First off, I want you all to know how amazing the people in my life are. They are so supportive in everything that I do and have faith I can do it even when I'm doubting myself. They inspire me and encourage me to be the best that I can be and they are so willing to stand by me and cheer me on. I don't know where I'd be without them. I love that I have all of this support and I don't take that for granted one bit. I truly am so blessed.
I am also so excited for the opportunity to be in the Miss Utah 2014 pageant. It's propelling me forward and making me want to be a better person. It's making my wheels turn about all of the charities, fundraisers, and amazing opportunities to help but never knew how. I'm so excited to see where this pageant goes but I know even if I don't become Miss Utah 2014 I am going to throw myself into charity work. It's my passion and I just want to help.
Now for my gym post.. I was so excited to walk into the gym today. I'm putting in a lot of work to become the most fit I can be. I'm eating right and putting my time in at the gym. I am loving working out and having my body sore. I love knowing that all of this hard work is going to pay off. In a little over a month I'm going to be on stage in a swimsuit and all this time at the gym and eating right will give me the confidence to stand there and be judged. It's helping my diabetes immensely. I have kept a steady blood sugar and eating right has been so helpful. I can honestly say I'm rocking my diabetes. It's a part of me now. It's who I am and it's helped define me as a person believe it or not. It's qho I am but I'm definitely owning it. I can't even express my excitement for my physical changes. The best I can do is tell you I honestly can't stop smiling and I want to jump up and down just thinking about it! Last but not least, I'm loving this new person that I am. I've let go of the people who weren't pushing me forward. The ones who had little to no words of encouragement. I quit my job and I'm starting a new one in a week that I am more than thrilled about. I have so much more confidence in the person I am. Looking back at who I was and who I am now there is a remarkable change. I still have a lot to work on for myself but I overall am proud of who I am and how far I've come.
Confidence, strength and gratitude is something I'll be striving for everyday of my life. I'll never stop trying to improve myself. I'm more than excited for the changes! :)
Sunday, September 15, 2013
I'll Tell You Why..
September 14, 2013
I never really thought I needed to participate in walks to cure anything. I thought that the people who were involved already were enough. I always thought they were great causes and felt bad but that was the extent of it. These walks and donation fundraisers are so very, very important and I'll tell you why. They help raise money to find solutions, they help raise awareness, and they help you to care. I know you're probably thinking these are all very well known facts. They are, you're absolutely right, but have you ever taken the time to think about it? Have you taken the time to think about the lives these diseases take over? I never really did. I never put myself in their shoes because I was completely healthy. I've never had to deal with it and so I never took time out of my day to consider what these people are facing. Let me tell you how wrong I was.. Take the time and think about what these people are dealing with. Their everyday lives is something you could never even fathom. Everyday they aren't just worried about the weather or their jobs or drama, everyday they are fighting for their lives.
I never really thought much of what people deal with when they have an illness until I was diagnosed with diabetes. I knew it sucked from the very beginning, I knew it'd be very hard and something I'd have to work at everyday. I took it in stride and accepted that it was just my new lifestyle. I never thought about how serious it was until I signed up for the Walk to Cure Diabetes. I never thought of how it changed other's lives until I signed up. I give myself 4 shots a day and prick my finger at least the same. I can not even imagine a little kid having to do this. Having to learn how to give themselves shots and make sure they keep an eye on their blood sugar. Having parents who have to do this for their young kids until they can for themselves. The worst being that these children don't even know any different. They don't know what it's like to not have to worry about their blood sugar or making sure they have enough insulin. That's just their life. Granted they are probably really good at managing it and it isn't really a huge life change, but there are people who do have to go through that life change.
Diabetes is very serious.. You never really think too much about it because you don't have to. I know I never thought it was too serious before I had it. I couldn't have been more wrong. It is scary and a hard adjustment. It's something that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. Please take the time to think about these families and the people that suffer from serious illnesses and do everything you can to help them out. Donate to those jars to help cure cancer or diabetes. Take time out of your day to go to a fundraiser to help raise money. Help raise awareness by being aware yourself. Technology is evolving and we are getting smarter as a species. We should be able to fight these diseases! There is a cure out there somewhere and we all need to come together to help find it. Donating and taking time out of your schedule to go on a walk to show your support is a way to come together. I couldn't be more excited to participate in my first Walk to Cure Diabetes on September 28. I am sure this won't be my last walk or my last fundraising effort. There's so much to fight for and I won't stop helping those who can't help themselves.
If you want to participate with me in this walk it's on September 28 at Willow Park in Logan. Registration starts at 9 and the walk is at 10. My wonderful sister-in-law has set up a team called 'Hunt for a cure'. You're welcome to sign up under this or be a virtual walker and just donate to the cause under our team name. There are many walks to cure diabetes and in many different places.
http://www2.jdrf.org/site/PageServer?pagename=walk_homepage
That's the link to find out more information on different walks and register for this one. You can also donate on this page at any time. I am so excited to participate and I hope to see a lot of you there!
I never really thought I needed to participate in walks to cure anything. I thought that the people who were involved already were enough. I always thought they were great causes and felt bad but that was the extent of it. These walks and donation fundraisers are so very, very important and I'll tell you why. They help raise money to find solutions, they help raise awareness, and they help you to care. I know you're probably thinking these are all very well known facts. They are, you're absolutely right, but have you ever taken the time to think about it? Have you taken the time to think about the lives these diseases take over? I never really did. I never put myself in their shoes because I was completely healthy. I've never had to deal with it and so I never took time out of my day to consider what these people are facing. Let me tell you how wrong I was.. Take the time and think about what these people are dealing with. Their everyday lives is something you could never even fathom. Everyday they aren't just worried about the weather or their jobs or drama, everyday they are fighting for their lives.
I never really thought much of what people deal with when they have an illness until I was diagnosed with diabetes. I knew it sucked from the very beginning, I knew it'd be very hard and something I'd have to work at everyday. I took it in stride and accepted that it was just my new lifestyle. I never thought about how serious it was until I signed up for the Walk to Cure Diabetes. I never thought of how it changed other's lives until I signed up. I give myself 4 shots a day and prick my finger at least the same. I can not even imagine a little kid having to do this. Having to learn how to give themselves shots and make sure they keep an eye on their blood sugar. Having parents who have to do this for their young kids until they can for themselves. The worst being that these children don't even know any different. They don't know what it's like to not have to worry about their blood sugar or making sure they have enough insulin. That's just their life. Granted they are probably really good at managing it and it isn't really a huge life change, but there are people who do have to go through that life change.
Diabetes is very serious.. You never really think too much about it because you don't have to. I know I never thought it was too serious before I had it. I couldn't have been more wrong. It is scary and a hard adjustment. It's something that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. Please take the time to think about these families and the people that suffer from serious illnesses and do everything you can to help them out. Donate to those jars to help cure cancer or diabetes. Take time out of your day to go to a fundraiser to help raise money. Help raise awareness by being aware yourself. Technology is evolving and we are getting smarter as a species. We should be able to fight these diseases! There is a cure out there somewhere and we all need to come together to help find it. Donating and taking time out of your schedule to go on a walk to show your support is a way to come together. I couldn't be more excited to participate in my first Walk to Cure Diabetes on September 28. I am sure this won't be my last walk or my last fundraising effort. There's so much to fight for and I won't stop helping those who can't help themselves.
If you want to participate with me in this walk it's on September 28 at Willow Park in Logan. Registration starts at 9 and the walk is at 10. My wonderful sister-in-law has set up a team called 'Hunt for a cure'. You're welcome to sign up under this or be a virtual walker and just donate to the cause under our team name. There are many walks to cure diabetes and in many different places.
http://www2.jdrf.org/site/PageServer?pagename=walk_homepage
That's the link to find out more information on different walks and register for this one. You can also donate on this page at any time. I am so excited to participate and I hope to see a lot of you there!
Friday, September 6, 2013
My New Adventure!
September 6, 2013
This year I'm competing in the Miss Utah USA Pageant! I've never really been a pageant girl or even given it much thought, but let me just tell you how excited I am! This is a really great opportunity and there's so much I can learn from this. I'll gain more self confidence and learn how to present myself with pride. Something that not a lot of people know how to do. I don't think that we give ourselves enough credit. We are all incredible in our own way and we hardly ever show it. We need to be proud of who we are and walk tall everywhere we go. This is something that I'm going to learn and something I find indispensable.
Another thing that I will learn and use in my everyday life is I'll learn how to better communicate. It's scary talking to people sometimes, especially when the conversation involves you talking highly of yourself. Society makes it hard sometimes because they want you to be proud and confident, yet when you are they call you conceited and cocky. However, when you are in an interview process what you need to do is speak highly of yourself and tell them you are the right one for this job by telling them what makes you great. This is a skill that I'm going to learn from this pageant that I will use the rest of my life. Something I couldn't be more grateful to learn.
I know that pageants have a bad representation for being completely about looks and they aren't really substantial or count for anything. I don't think that could be more wrong. Yes, they are looking for an attractive person to represent the state. No, it's not only the way you look that makes you attractive. They're looking for someone with a good looking appearance, but they're also looking for someone with the personality to match. They're looking for people who can hold their own and know how to represent themselves in the best way so they can represent the whole state. They are looking for girls who are physically fit and care about the way they look and feel. I think that is another great reason for doing this pageant. I have gone to the gym and exercised and become a more healthy version of myself. Not solely because of this pageant, but it was an excellent push to get me back into the gym.
I haven't been in any pageants and I don't know what they're like exactly, all I do know is that I know this will be an amazing opportunity and I will learn so much from it. I already have learned so much just in the preparation process. I'm more confident and I'm more organized and head strong. I already like what this pageant is doing for me, simply making me a better version of myself.
I'm so excited that I want to take you all along this journey with me through my posts and Facebook updates! I have a new page up the web address is https://www.facebook.com/khformissutah2014. I'll be posting inspirational quotes and letting you know what the next step is for the pageant. If you want to help even more I have been out looking for sponsors to help fund all of the pageant fees that I'll run into. Any little bit helps and I am more than grateful to any help you are willing to give. I set up an account with America First that I am collecting donations in. All of the donations I receive will go strictly to the pageant. However, I am not going to go overboard with expenses I don't need, so if there is more money left over from this then I will be donating all of that to a charity. I like to work for what I have and since this is out of the goodness of other people's hearts I will be paying this forward in some way. If you want to donate the account number at America First is: 28077626
Thank you so much for your support!
This year I'm competing in the Miss Utah USA Pageant! I've never really been a pageant girl or even given it much thought, but let me just tell you how excited I am! This is a really great opportunity and there's so much I can learn from this. I'll gain more self confidence and learn how to present myself with pride. Something that not a lot of people know how to do. I don't think that we give ourselves enough credit. We are all incredible in our own way and we hardly ever show it. We need to be proud of who we are and walk tall everywhere we go. This is something that I'm going to learn and something I find indispensable.
Another thing that I will learn and use in my everyday life is I'll learn how to better communicate. It's scary talking to people sometimes, especially when the conversation involves you talking highly of yourself. Society makes it hard sometimes because they want you to be proud and confident, yet when you are they call you conceited and cocky. However, when you are in an interview process what you need to do is speak highly of yourself and tell them you are the right one for this job by telling them what makes you great. This is a skill that I'm going to learn from this pageant that I will use the rest of my life. Something I couldn't be more grateful to learn.
I know that pageants have a bad representation for being completely about looks and they aren't really substantial or count for anything. I don't think that could be more wrong. Yes, they are looking for an attractive person to represent the state. No, it's not only the way you look that makes you attractive. They're looking for someone with a good looking appearance, but they're also looking for someone with the personality to match. They're looking for people who can hold their own and know how to represent themselves in the best way so they can represent the whole state. They are looking for girls who are physically fit and care about the way they look and feel. I think that is another great reason for doing this pageant. I have gone to the gym and exercised and become a more healthy version of myself. Not solely because of this pageant, but it was an excellent push to get me back into the gym.
I haven't been in any pageants and I don't know what they're like exactly, all I do know is that I know this will be an amazing opportunity and I will learn so much from it. I already have learned so much just in the preparation process. I'm more confident and I'm more organized and head strong. I already like what this pageant is doing for me, simply making me a better version of myself.
I'm so excited that I want to take you all along this journey with me through my posts and Facebook updates! I have a new page up the web address is https://www.facebook.com/khformissutah2014. I'll be posting inspirational quotes and letting you know what the next step is for the pageant. If you want to help even more I have been out looking for sponsors to help fund all of the pageant fees that I'll run into. Any little bit helps and I am more than grateful to any help you are willing to give. I set up an account with America First that I am collecting donations in. All of the donations I receive will go strictly to the pageant. However, I am not going to go overboard with expenses I don't need, so if there is more money left over from this then I will be donating all of that to a charity. I like to work for what I have and since this is out of the goodness of other people's hearts I will be paying this forward in some way. If you want to donate the account number at America First is: 28077626
Thank you so much for your support!
Thursday, September 5, 2013
If There's Something Wrong, No One Can Tell You.
August 22, 2013
I have been to the doctor more times than most people in this last year. I have had numerous things wrong and only gotten a few answers. I've had the same pains for over a year and a half and no one can give me an explanation. The pain has traveled and gotten worse at some points. It's also gotten better at other points. There's no rhyme or reason or any visible pattern so it makes it hard for the doctors to diagnose. They've run more tests than I can count and ones I can't even pronounce. So far everything has come back perfectly. I am all around healthy other than my diabetes.
Their latest theory is that I have a disease called Celiac. That would mean that I would have another life altering diet change. Nothing with gluten in it. I am still waiting for the results to find out if I do have it or not. If this is the case then I will have to do some major studying on my new diet change. Hopefully I'll just have answers. That's all I hope for at this point.
I have been to the doctor more times than most people in this last year. I have had numerous things wrong and only gotten a few answers. I've had the same pains for over a year and a half and no one can give me an explanation. The pain has traveled and gotten worse at some points. It's also gotten better at other points. There's no rhyme or reason or any visible pattern so it makes it hard for the doctors to diagnose. They've run more tests than I can count and ones I can't even pronounce. So far everything has come back perfectly. I am all around healthy other than my diabetes.
Their latest theory is that I have a disease called Celiac. That would mean that I would have another life altering diet change. Nothing with gluten in it. I am still waiting for the results to find out if I do have it or not. If this is the case then I will have to do some major studying on my new diet change. Hopefully I'll just have answers. That's all I hope for at this point.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
If I'm Being Completely Honest...
Before you read this I need you to know how hard this was for me to write. I need you to know that this has been saved as a draft for over a month. That I've just now gotten the courage to finish writing this and publish it. I am not proud of the first paragraph, but it happened and I've moved past it. I don't need any lectures or anything of that type because I know it wasn't the smartest thing in the world and I've learned from it and moved on.
August 1, 2013
If I were to be completely honest I would tell you that this diabetes is kicking my butt. If I were being completely honest I'd tell you that I am trying to avoid it.. I'm trying to avoid being a diabetic. That every day I am terrified of what my future holds and how having diabetes will impact it. I like to act like everyone else and do what they do but I think it's taking its toll. I did so well at the beginning and then I started to forget my insulin and I didn't actually need it. I went back to normal levels and I was fine. I stopped taking it and I was fine.. Then I eventually stopped checking my blood sugar regularly.. Two very bad ideas. Even though I was fine and I am still relatively healthy I can tell the difference. I feel a lot different and healthy when I am watching my blood sugar and taking insulin. Even though I don't need to take it to get my blood sugar down it does help my body not work so hard. I think it will help start getting my emotions at a steady level. I've been hoping that by some freak accident I'm actually type 2 and I just eat healthy and I don't have to worry about it. I'm not. I had a test done and I'm definitely type 1, I just am having an incredible "honeymoon" phase.
If I were to be completely honest I would tell you that I have been completely selfish about my diabetes. I don't want to have it and so I've avoided it. I've only taken care of it when it was high or low. I haven't been consistent and I have been making it so there are more highs and lows by not being consistent. I have been selfish because I have a very promising life ahead of me and I have been foolish looking past that to live in the moment. I know that most the time it's great to live in the moment and cherish every second you have, but I need to live in those moments making it so I have that many more moments to look forward to. I shouldn't just brush it off as if diabetes is no big deal. It's a huge deal and it's having an impact on every aspect of my life. I'm being selfish because when I have children in the future I need to be healthy and the best way to have healthy pregnancies is doing everything I can now to be healthy. I know it's far off into the future but I need to think about these things. I need to care more about myself for the sake of my children. I also want them to have someone to look up to and really admire. I don't want to be unhealthy and teach them that lifestyle because I don't want them to live that lifestyle. I also have to think what happens if my children are diabetic? I have to be able to handle mine so that I can help them handle theirs. I want to be a good influence and example for my children.
I need to do this for me and my future and the people that are going to be in my future. I hate the way that I feel when I'm not taking care of myself. You can tell a difference between an unhealthy life and a healthy one and it's monumental. I don't want to keep going back to the doctor so frequently because I keep having health issues. I am nineteen years old. I have a whole future and a lot of ambitions that can't be stopped by health issues.
If I were to be completely honest I would tell you how much having diabetes has really frustrated and hurt me. I've been in a rut and I have never wanted to be so blatantly against my own disease. I want to have a positive outlook on this because it really isn't all bad. I am getting healthy, getting in shape, eating right, and being happy. What more could you honestly ask for? It's time to:
August 1, 2013
If I were to be completely honest I would tell you that this diabetes is kicking my butt. If I were being completely honest I'd tell you that I am trying to avoid it.. I'm trying to avoid being a diabetic. That every day I am terrified of what my future holds and how having diabetes will impact it. I like to act like everyone else and do what they do but I think it's taking its toll. I did so well at the beginning and then I started to forget my insulin and I didn't actually need it. I went back to normal levels and I was fine. I stopped taking it and I was fine.. Then I eventually stopped checking my blood sugar regularly.. Two very bad ideas. Even though I was fine and I am still relatively healthy I can tell the difference. I feel a lot different and healthy when I am watching my blood sugar and taking insulin. Even though I don't need to take it to get my blood sugar down it does help my body not work so hard. I think it will help start getting my emotions at a steady level. I've been hoping that by some freak accident I'm actually type 2 and I just eat healthy and I don't have to worry about it. I'm not. I had a test done and I'm definitely type 1, I just am having an incredible "honeymoon" phase.
If I were to be completely honest I would tell you that I have been completely selfish about my diabetes. I don't want to have it and so I've avoided it. I've only taken care of it when it was high or low. I haven't been consistent and I have been making it so there are more highs and lows by not being consistent. I have been selfish because I have a very promising life ahead of me and I have been foolish looking past that to live in the moment. I know that most the time it's great to live in the moment and cherish every second you have, but I need to live in those moments making it so I have that many more moments to look forward to. I shouldn't just brush it off as if diabetes is no big deal. It's a huge deal and it's having an impact on every aspect of my life. I'm being selfish because when I have children in the future I need to be healthy and the best way to have healthy pregnancies is doing everything I can now to be healthy. I know it's far off into the future but I need to think about these things. I need to care more about myself for the sake of my children. I also want them to have someone to look up to and really admire. I don't want to be unhealthy and teach them that lifestyle because I don't want them to live that lifestyle. I also have to think what happens if my children are diabetic? I have to be able to handle mine so that I can help them handle theirs. I want to be a good influence and example for my children.
I need to do this for me and my future and the people that are going to be in my future. I hate the way that I feel when I'm not taking care of myself. You can tell a difference between an unhealthy life and a healthy one and it's monumental. I don't want to keep going back to the doctor so frequently because I keep having health issues. I am nineteen years old. I have a whole future and a lot of ambitions that can't be stopped by health issues.
If I were to be completely honest I would tell you how much having diabetes has really frustrated and hurt me. I've been in a rut and I have never wanted to be so blatantly against my own disease. I want to have a positive outlook on this because it really isn't all bad. I am getting healthy, getting in shape, eating right, and being happy. What more could you honestly ask for? It's time to:
- Exercise regularly
- Eat healthy
- Have scheduled meals
- Check my blood sugar regularly
- Use my insulin daily
- Cut out sugar
- Be positive!
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Welcome Back
June 3, 2013
So, for a few weeks I was doing awesome. I didn't take any insulin and I was feeling just fine. I still watched what I was eating and how I was feeling, but I was doing just fine. I was starting to question whether or not I even had diabetes. As far as I was concerned, I was in an incredible honeymoon phase of my diabetes or I was given the wrong diagnosis.
I should've kept taking my insulin even if they were lower doses because my body wouldn't have had to work so hard. A week or so ago I could feel that my body was just giving up on me. My sharp pains were coming back, I had little to no motivation, and I was getting more headaches than I wanted. I started to check my blood sugar even more often but every time I checked it I had completely normal readings. I was starting to think it was something else or that my monitor wasn't working right. I slowly started taking a little insulin here and then, even though it didn't seem to be helping much.
Last Saturday I was at work and you couldn't believe how awful I felt. Well, you probably could because I looked like I had the life drained out of me. It was one of the worst days ever. I went to check my blood sugar because I was so worried at how sick I was feeling. This is what I found. Welcome back diabetes! Not really though, because I liked feeling normal again.
I'm still getting back into the routine. I just know I need to keep doing it. I need to be extra cautious and ignore the part of me that still thinks I'm normal. It'll take a lot longer now to adjust but I think I'll be just fine :)
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