Blue, Green, and Purple All Over!

March 19, 2013
 I wanted to make a post specifically directed at my fear of needles and how I'm handling using them at least 4 times a day. From the very first post I've told you how much I hate needles. I can't stand the things. Ironic isn't it, that now I get to be around them everyday for the rest of my life? I thought so. I still don't think it's funny but I do however find it ironic.

 It wasn't easy at the beginning when all of the nurses and doctors were poking me but I knew if I just looked away and didn't know when it was going to happen I would be alright. Can you imagine how it was when I realized I couldn't just look away and not know when it was going to happen because, I would have to be the one to make it happen now? It was a very unsettling thought and I dreaded anytime the nurses came in with the insulin vile and a needle. That meant I now had to draw up my insulin and administer it to myself. As I told you before I was very hesitant at first when I had to use my lancet (The little poker part for when I test my blood sugar) and when I had to give myself insulin. My hesitation carried on when I was in the hospital and also at home. I take a couple minutes with both the lancet and the needle right on my skin but not yet inside my skin. The amount of hesitation has gone down quite a bit though, which I am really excited about. I think by the end of the week I won't be hesitating at all, maybe even by the end of tomorrow it will just be completely natural and I will think nothing of it. I'm glad I've finally gotten to the point where I stop giving myself anxiety thinking about how badly it will hurt and it's really only a slight pinch. Sometimes I am quite the wuss. :P

 I think everyone has a curiosity on what it's like giving myself shots or checking my blood sugar, at least when they think about it. You are kind of curious now aren't you? ;) It's really not that bad once you get over the initial, "Oh my gosh! I am about to jab a needle into my skin! This is going to hurt so bad, why am I doing this!?" (Not that I'm promoting needle usage unless it's for medical reasons, I wouldn't do it just for fun. You'd have to be crazy or pay me an outrageous amount of money) I've had people in the room before when i'm checking my blood sugar or giving myself insulin and I think the best reaction still is when I'm putting my blood on the strip and the strip kind of just sucks it up and Jake goes, "Oh my goodness, that is so cool." That makes it funny every time I use the strips. I think I'd be curious too though if someone I knew had to do all of this. It is a whole different world over here on the diabetic side. One where I hope soon I'll learn to block out candy aisles and things I can't have and they'll just be on everyone else's side. :) In the mean time eat a sweet for me and think of me while eating it! Until next time everyone :)