Forms... :(

April 21, 2013
 I'm not feeling as ambitious today as I am most days. I want to be very badly, but my body is just telling me today is a resting day. I did end up finishing laundry and filling out forms that will hopefully help my medicine and supplies to be lower. I got a card that will hopefully take $35 a month off of my test strips. That's so helpful because they really are expensive. I am not sure how much my insurance covers for it. I won't know until I get forms back but I know right now with what insurance does cover I could pay rent for as much as it costs for my insulin, needles, alcohol wipes, and test strips. I am happy I actually sat down and started to apply for some of these things. I am glad that I have finally stopped allowing my pride to get in the way of the help that I need. I am saving money and I will be able to go and get some professional help on coping with this. My pride never gave me that. I have always felt that I was more than capable to do everything on my own and not ask for help. Which I am.. I am not asking them to do it for me, I'm only getting assistance. Asking for help is saving me so much stress and helping me in more ways than one. I am learning as I am getting help.

 Is it sad that sometimes when I get hurt and I start to bleed I always think, "Well, now I can check my blood sugar without pricking myself." I know it isn't quite the same thing, but I wish it was. I still really do hate needles. I was even giving myself insulin earlier and before I gave myself the shot I said out loud, "I really hate needles." Then I gave myself a shot. I thought about it but I have stopped letting myself freak out and wait five minutes before I can give myself a shot. I've also noticed that when I go to use my lancet I stop breathing and get light headed so I have to breathe before I can push the button. It's funny the things you notice when you have to be watching for it. I never realized how bad my anxiety is about needles until I had to start using them.

 Speaking insulin... I think my body is starting to function too well. I get low blood sugar a lot easier now even eating the same and using insulin. I am using less of it because I don't have to correct as much but I'm thinking that I might get some more carbohydrates in my diet after I talk to the doctor. :) Also, I love the smell of insulin. I don't even know why, I just do. It has a very distinct smell. Maybe my body loves it for me because it needs it so the smell is appealing to me.

 My next goal is to drink more water and have my meals at a set time. I'm getting stronger and healthier day by day, I can't quit now.